Christian dating culture appears to be in a gray territory as the Bible doesn’t have explicit guidelines regarding dating. And that’s because dating didn’t exist during the time of the old or new testament. Thus, Christians have to apply scriptural ideologies to innovations of the time, including dating.
Regarding kissing, is it prohibited in the Christian faith? Should you save your first kiss for marriage? Is kissing a sin? Can you kiss before tying the knot? Stay tuned as we answer these questions.
Is Kissing A Sin?
There’s no definite answer to this question. Whether kissing is a sin or not depends on the intentions of the mind and heart during the kissing time. A quick peck on the forehead, palm, or chick as a hello or goodbye when greeting family members is not considered a sin. However, a long, deep tongue-kiss marked with sensuality is considered a sin.
Here’s to more on what the Bible talks about kissing:
Kissing Without Lustful Intentions
According to the Bible, kissing is a ritual or practice used during greetings or when showing affection amongst close family members or friends. Various instances in the Bible talk about this form of kissing. For instance:
- In 1 Peter 5:14, when believers share a kiss.
- In 1 Samuel 20:4, David and Jonathan kissed one another as friends as they wept.
- In Ruth 1:14, Genesis 27:26, and Genesis 45:14 where kissing was shared among family members to show affection and love.
- In Genesis 29, Jacob met Rachel and kissed her as a greeting.
In the context of these verses, kissing is not a sin as it’s a form of greeting and showing your love to close family and friends.
Kissing with Lustful Intentions
There are other verses in the Bible that talk about romantic kissing. Song of Solomon 1:2 says:
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine.”
This verse describes kissing as showing passion and love between a married couple. Note that the Bible doesn’t directly talk about passionate kissing before marriage. However, it forbids sexual immorality and anything that can lead to it. 1 Corinthians 10:31 says,
“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all the glory of God.”
This verse shows that Christians should engage in acts that only glorify the Lord, and doing any action, including kissing, in a manner that doesn’t glorify God is forbidden.
Other bible verses prohibit kissing with lustful intentions. The Bible teaches Christians to avoid sexual immorality and lustful desires. Colossians 3:5 and 1 Thessalonians 4:3 says:
“Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you knows how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;.”
From these verses, it’s clear that any form of passionate kissing that leads to lust or sexual immorality is a sin and should be avoided by unmarried people.
To Kiss Or Not To Kiss
How you answer this question depends on your interpretation of your faith and the teachings of your church. Some churches advise not to kiss before marriage, as they believe kissing leads to sin and that romantic kissing is a sin. Such churches back this with these verses, Matthew 5:27, Philippians 4:8, and Romans 14:20:
“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things,”
“Remember all foods are acceptable, but it is wrong to eat something if it makes another person stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything else if it might cause another believer to stumble. You may believe there’s nothing wrong with what you are doing, but keep it between yourself and God.”
These verses explain that kissing is a sin if it causes a couple to stumble into sexual immorality or triggers others into temptation.
Then, there are those churches that teach their followers to follow their convictions. And that if they are not kissing with lustful intent, even when dating, they should pray and ask God for guidance. They back this teaching with Romans 14:22:
“You may believe there’s nothing wrong with what you are doing, but keep it between yourself and God. Blessed are those who don’t feel guilty for doing something they have decided is right. But if you have doubts about whether or not you should eat something, you are sinning if you go ahead and do it. For you are not following your convictions. If you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning.”
Thus, if you are not convicted, and aren’t kissing your lover in a way that tempts you, then kissing may not be a sin for you. However, if God convicts you for kissing your lover, or your lover feels convicted or becomes more tempted, it’s best to respect their desires and avoid kissing.
Regarding physical boundaries in dating, it’s always good to respect the other person’s boundaries, even if you are okay with doing the act.
At the end of the day, deciding to kiss or not to kiss your lover before marriage depends on you, God, and your lover. If you have doubts, convictions, or temptations to do more, it’s best to avoid kissing and wait until you are married. It’s worth it, and you’ll have the rest of your life to do so.
But, if you don’t feel convicted and can kiss your lover without lustful intentions, go ahead and kiss them in a way that honors God. However, it’s best to wait until marriage to glorify God and your future spouse.